"Bertie me old friend, what can I do for you today?"
"Muammar I'm here to talk about live cattle exports & how we might line each others pockets."
"Ah Bertie I know all about live cattle, thats how I treat the people of Libya."
"Deadly, so we have a deal then?",
"That depends on whats in the briefcase Bertie?"
"Oh just a few bob, bit a sterling, a few euros & dollars, I like to mix it up, throws em off the scent so to speak,"
"Ah perfect Bertie, send the moo cows."
"Tell me Bertie how do you control the peasants with all this democracy nonsense?"
"That's the funny thing Muammar, the fools keep falling for the bollox I spout & they keep voting for me, that together with a few well timed & well placed Euro referendums, soon enough they'll wake up poor & beholden to Brussels & Strasbourg, then they'll have no choice but to do what they are told & I'll get a little rewardie, deadly all round."
"Seems like a lot of bother to me Bertie, you should just shoot anyone who opposes you or complains about what you are doing, like we do, works out well for us."
"That would be great Muammar, but the EU would never let me shoot them."
"They would if you had OIL Bertie, they would if you had OIL!"
They were all at it, http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2011/feb/07/labour-government-lockerbie-bomber-release I particularly like "During 2007, the Libyans repeatedly delayed signing the BP oil deal until the UK government signed a prisoner transfer agreement (PTA) which included Megrahi."
"Do we have a deal then? We release Abdelbaset Ali al-Megrahi & you grant the contracts to BP, win win eh Muammar?"
"No problem Gordie my friend, send us Megrahi & a big bag of cash & BP get the contracts, as me good friend Bertie would say Deadly all round."
"Right so, we'll get on to the Scots & tell 'em he's terminal or something & you get the old contracts ready for the BP men, Oh I trust we have your word that there will be no mad celebrations when Megrahi get's back, it wouldn't look good on the old TV you know."
"No problem Gordie, we'll bring him in at night & straight home, no celebrations or triumphal processions on live TV, rest assured."
"Thanks Muammar, you know it makes sense."
"British Satan Wanker!"