Monday, 22 November 2010

It Was a Dark and Stormy Night

Bob Hill and his new wife Betty were on honeymoon in Europe....as it happens, near Transylvania. They were driving in a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It was late and raining very hard. Bob could barely see the road in front of the car. Suddenly, the car skids out of control! Bob attempts to control the car, but to no avail! The car swerves and smashes into a tree.

Moments later, Bob shakes his head to clear the fog. Dazed, he looks over at the passenger seat and sees his wife unconscious, with her head bleeding! Despite the rain and unfamiliar countryside, Bob knows he has to get her medical assistance.

Bob carefully picks his wife up and begins trudging down the road. After a short while, he sees a light. He heads towards the light, which is coming from a large, old house. He approaches the door and knocks.

A minute passes. A small, hunched man opens the door. Bob immediately blurts, "Hello, my name is Bob Hill, and this is my wife Betty. We've been in a terrible accident, and my wife has been seriously hurt. Can I please use your phone?"

"I'm sorry," replied the hunchback, "but we don't have a phone. My master is a doctor; come in, and I will get him!"

Bob brings his wife in.

An older man comes down the stairs. "I'm afraid my assistant may have misled you. I am not a medical doctor; I am a scientist.. However, it is many miles to the nearest clinic, and I have had a basic medical training. I will see what I can do. Igor, bring them down to the laboratory."

With that, Igor picks up Betty and carries her downstairs, with Bob following closely.. Igor places Betty on a table in the lab. Bob collapses from exhaustion and his own injuries, so Igor places Bob on an adjoining table.

After a brief examination, Igor's master looks worried. "Things are serious, Igor. Prepare a transfusion." Igor and his master work feverishly, but to no avail. Bob and Betty Hill are no more.

The Hills' deaths upset Igor's master greatly. Wearily, he climbs the steps to his conservatory, which houses his grand piano. For it is here that he has always found solace. He begins to play, and a stirring, almost haunting melody fills the house.

Meanwhile, Igor is still in the lab tidying up. His eyes catch movement, and he notices the fingers on Betty's hand twitch, keeping time to the haunting piano music. Stunned, he watches as Bob's arm begins to rise, marking the beat! He is further amazed as Betty and Bob both sit up straight!

Unable to contain himself, he dashes up the stairs to the conservatory.

He bursts in and shouts to his master:

"Master, Master!.....The Hills are alive with the sound of music!"

I received the above today by email, dumn, annoying and stupid, but you really should've seen it coming

Saturday, 20 November 2010

The Haircut

I received the following by email yesterday & I think it, while only a joke, does somewhat highlight the type of society we live in.

"One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut.

After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you , I'm doing community service this week.'

The florist was pleased and left the shop.

When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you , I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop.

The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

Then a Member of the Dail came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I can not accept money from you.
I'm doing community service this week.' The TD was very happy and left the shop.

The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen TDs lined up waiting for a free haircut.

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.



- Posted by LAF using BlogPress.

Friday, 19 November 2010

DICKLESS ROCHE IS AN EMBARRASSMENT AGAIN!

I watched Jon Snow hand Dick Roche his ass last night on the C4 News, usually I would have enjoyed seeing someone do this to him, but I didn't because it wasn't an Irish News Bulletin & it was an Englishman asking the questions the Irish Broadcast journalists have failed to ask.


The utter arrogance and blatant lying by the cunt embarrassed & shamed us all, we are now depicted as the former colony crawling back on our hands & knees for a handout.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSRnZbEHYJg

While this cartoon in todays Guardian is funny, http://bit.ly/bhnTp3 it is also further embarrassment & shame being heaped on us all as Irish citizens.

Thursday, 18 November 2010

IRELAND FOR SALE

The great Fianna Fail giveaway continues http://twitpic.com/37x86x

Tuesday, 16 November 2010

Utter & Complete Lunacy - Political Correctness gone Mad!

The following article appeared in todays Telegraph http://t.co/cIEQkwy . How far are we going to go to try and avoid offending Muslims, this is just madness. The article states the Pig was removed to avoid offending Muslim & Jewish Parents, I'd be pretty sure the Jewish element was only thought of later to try and balance the stupidity. It's no wonder the western world is in the mess it's in when we waste time on such nonsense as this.

Monday, 15 November 2010

IS IT INTENTIONAL?

I'm beginning to believe that Fianna Fail are intentionally wrecking this country at the behest of their EU Overlords, my reasoning on this stems from the fact that if its not intentional then it is the worst case of incompetence & treason ever visited on a country by it's Govt.. It seems their only duty is to ensure that the German & French banks are looked after regardless of the cost to Ireland & its citizans.

Our new Leaders do not sit in Dublin but reside in Brussels, Paris & Berlin, we have been dragged back to the days of absentee landlords & serfdom, this time the houses may be our own, but for how long? We will soon be taxed for the privilage of living in the overpriced, undervalued, negative equity homes we're struggling to pay for, because our Govt chose bondholders over stakeholders & destroyed the economy, the country & all our futures.

Bertie Ahern, Mary Harney & Fianna Fail have done more harm to Ireland & its standing & reputation abroad than the IRA did at the height of their murdering campaign, even Cromwell & the Black n' Tans caused less devastation. Lenihan & Cowen are putting together a 4 year plan, knowing full well they wont be around to implement any of it's measures, therefore hang tying the next Govt., before they even get in.

This Country needs a new Government for sure but mostly what it needs is new & effective leadership; however the only place I can see that coming from is Brussels.

Friday, 12 November 2010

HARNEY CANCELS CHRISTMAS & BURIES THE EVIDENCE


They are not content with just Killing the Economy, they went and killed Santa too.

Poor old Santa & she's made such a bollox of the HSE there is definately no hope for his recovery.

Saturday, 9 October 2010

Businessman of the Year?

If this is true it's fucking brilliant, received this email today.

From The London Times: A Well-Planned Retirement
A perfect example of government mismanagement.

"Outside England 's Bristol Zoo there is a parking lot for 150 cars and 8 buses. For 25 years,it's parking fees were managed by a very pleasant attendant. The fees were for cars (£1.40),for buses (about £7).
Then, one day, after 25 solid years of never missing a day of work, he just didn't show up; so the Zoo Management called the City Council and asked it to send them another parking agent.

The Council did some research and replied that the parking lot was the Zoo's own responsibility.

The Zoo advised the Council that the attendant was a City employee.

The City Council responded that the lot attendant had never been on the City payroll.

Meanwhile, sitting in his villa somewhere on the coast of Spain or France or Italy ... is a man who'd apparently had a ticket machine installed completely on his own and then had simply begun to show up every day, commencing to collect and keep the parking fees, estimated at about £560 per day -- for 25 years.

Assuming 7 days a week, this amounts to just over 7 million pounds ... and no one even knows his name."




















Tuesday, 5 October 2010

I Had A Dream - Bertie R.I.P

I dreamt last night that Bertie died & though I did not care, I followed him to Heaven's Gates to see how he would fare. I noticed he was carrying a very heavy sack, I wondered what was in it & why he had it on his back?

He walked straight up to the Gates saying "which way do I go?" I know he must have lost his way as he should have gone below. St Peter's eyes they near popped out "Come in my man," he said. "I hope you've loved your neighbours well?" & boy was Bertie red.

"Of course I've loved my neighbours, from the bankers right on down, I even loved the builders too, that developed every town. I've read my bible & sung my praises, now Heaven I wish to see, so Peter step aside there, the Lord will welcome me."

Now Peter listened patiently & then said with a smile "Your Halo's not quite ready yet so just relax a while & while you wait I'll have a look to see what's in your sack, in case it's not a saintly one or holds an uneducated Tabloid Hack."

"Oh that sack just holds the proof of good deeds that I've wrought, my autobiography & my daughters books & the positions that I bought." But when Peter had a look inside he saw there well stuffed down the Backhanders & brown envelopes that had brought old Ireland down.

St Patrick then came on the scene, his temper far from cool, Bertie tried to shake his hand but Patrick is no fool. Said he "My man do you not think you've pushed your luck too far, we've not forgot all the misery you've caused from West Cork to South Armagh."

St Peter turned to Bertie, his wrath was plain to see saying "Get out you lowly hypocrite & don't try bluffing me, your bluffing days are over now, so out you've gotta go & don't forget your brown envelopes, you may need them down below."

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Ireland

He's Back

He's back & this time he intends to destroy us all.

He has made The Wall Street Journal no less Bertie Whores out his former Office

In light of his recent exploits I think it's apt to revisit this one!

Monday, 4 October 2010

Bertie takes his seat in the Cabinet!



The two people most responsible for the state this country now finds itself in, would seem to be in a race to see which of them can bring the most disrepute to the office of An Taoiseach. In his defence I think Cowen's garglegate incident was just a serious error of judgement & nothing more, which led to him & Ireland being ridiculed throughout the world. Bertie on the other hand is a shameless Whore who would sell his own soul (& probably has) for an ounce of publicity & a few grubby Euro. The man is a complete and utter disgrace & an embarrassment at a time when this country needs to project a positive image abroad. Anyone who buys the rag he is promoting, actually either of the Rags, The News of the World or his Autobiography are contributing to his shameful diminishing of Brand Ireland & Brand Taoiseach.


Wednesday, 29 September 2010

My New Philosophy

video

All the talk of Anglo, Bond markets, Recession & Useless incompetant Government getting you down, then maybe it's time to adopt a new philosophy and just say "FUCK IT."

Saturday, 18 September 2010

Psalm of Cowen

Biffo is my sheppard, there is nothing I shall want, He leadeth me beside still factories, He restoreth my doubts in the Fianna Fail party, He guideth me in the path of unemployment, "For Anglo's sake."

Yea though I walk through the valley of mounting debt, I will feel no respite, You are there with your crooks & your staff, from whom I feel no comfort. You annointest my pay with freezes so that my expenses soar above my income, surely poverty & hardship will follow your term in government & I will dwell in the house of negative equity forever.

2000 years ago Moses said "Park thy camel, pick up thy shovel & mount thy ass and I will lead you to the promised land."

2000 years later Bertie said "Lay down your shovel, sit on your ass, light up your Camels, this is the promised land."

Today Cowen taxes your shovel, reposses your Camel, kicks your ass & tells you "there is NO fucking promised land."




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Abbeyleix

Tuesday, 24 August 2010

Turning out the Lights

There was once a Tunnel, not a very long tunnel, but one that was easy to travel, it was very bright with lots of lights & everyone liked it. However overtime the tunnel became longer, darker, more difficult to travel, the lights were fewer & people grew afraid of the tunnel. Soon enough there was only one light left and it was right at the end of the tunnel, it was very dim and flickered a lot.

Then one day the light went out, people didn't know what to do, they looked around for help & leadership but none could be found. They rang all the emergency numbers they could find but to no avail, no-one knew what to do, until they stumbled upon a number for the Dept of the Environment. They rang the number and spoke to the Green Minister in charge, he informed them it was his and the Governments policy that the light would not be replaced. The people complained that there had always been a light there but with no success.

The Green Minister told them that after 3 years of a Fianna Fail & Green government "THERE WAS NO LONGER A LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL."

Wednesday, 14 April 2010

Electric Cars or Electric Chairs




It's not Electric Cars this Minister and Government need it's Electric Chairs, we would all be happy to view photos of them strapped in & wired up. I doubt if there would be too many of those do gooder cunts hanging around outside lighting candles and singing hymns for them as we fired up the old grid. Pity it's only a dream though. http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/motors/2010/0414/1224268296079.html
It appears while saving the environment these cars are going to hit the Tax take & probably the poor old tax payer will have to make up the difference in some other way.
Spending another pile of money on an ill thought out plan, just to keep the Greens happy and Fianna Fail in power is just fucking Brilliant, don't you think?

THE BAILOUT BOYS

  1. If You're in trouble and if no-one else can help you.
  2. If you've contributed to the great & good in our society, otherwise known as donations made to Fianna Fail in a tent in Galway.
  3. If you owe Millions to Banks, Building Societies or are just trading while in breach of solvency laws.
Don't worry you can turn to your old friends, "The Bailout Boys."












NO ONE LEAVES EMPTY HANDED, COURTESY OF THE TAXPAYER "YOU'RE TAKING AWAY A BLANKETY BLANK CHEQUE BOOK AND PEN"

Tuesday, 13 April 2010

That Sinking Feeling

This country was like the TITANIC, we set sail for the land of new hope under the captaincy of Bertie & his crew of cunts, we were told the ship was indestructable and would never sink, anyone who questioned this (Many of us did) were told to fuck off and hang ourselves. Then the ship hit an ICEBERG (Builders & Bankers & FF donors & Sean Quinn etc), turned out the water tight doors (Regulators & Central bank) were left open & didn’t do their job & the ship sank. THE END.




THING IS THOUGH THE NEW CAPTAIN COWEN & PRETTY MUCH THE SAME CREW OF CUNTS HAVE DECIDED THE BEST THING TO DO IN THE SHIPS INTERESTS IS TO FIX THE FUCKING ICEBERG!



But you’ll have to excuse me , I’m biased in that I hate Fianna Fail & the fucking Greens.

Thursday, 18 February 2010

Minister for Defence (His own, not the Country's)

Willie O'Dea is a solicitor, he is the Minister for Defence, (Defending himself) a former Minister of State in the Dept of Justice (at times he even held the reins of this Dept when the Minister was away), yet despite all this he can have a memory lapse, swear an affidavit knowing the content to be false & then laugh at the opposition & still keep his position.

FF forced Eamon Ryan to come out and support the little bollox today, Ryan said the people wanted the government to create jobs & not to concentrate on this.

Well two things Ryan;
1) I'm a member of the people and I want the little fucker sacked and bounced out of politics & I want the Government, the opposition & the fucking senate if necessary to concentrate on it.
2) You should have a word with Coughlan re creating the jobs etc as she seems to be oblivious to this element of her own brief, as she has displayed and continues to display in the handling of the Ryanair business.

No Govt Minister makes a mistake / error like this in an affidavitt, much less one who is also a solicitor unless he knew he could and would get away with it if he was found out.

Cowen will back O'Dea because he is FF's Rottweiler or Jack Russell, they wheel him out everytime they are in the shit & he faces down all without flinching.

Wednesday, 17 February 2010

WILLIE'S AFFIDAVIT

Willie's Affidavit http://twitpic.com/photos/theaffidavit2 click to enlarge. Pity couldn't do the same with him..

IQ Tests

I recently completed an IQ test, see attached link opposite, in my life so far I have completed 3 of these tests two official and this one, My IQ is one of 135, 142 or 144.

I read & have been told that an IQ of 145 & over is in the genius bracket, Einstein for example had an IQ of 160+.

So at 144 I'm not a genius, I'm just gifted, still it's nice to be gifted, better than severely challenged which is what I suspect our tanaiste Coughlan would read.

Sack The Gimp



Willie O'Dea misleads the High Court & then laughs at the opposition in the Dail, he is backed by the Taoiseach & the Greens say the matter was dealt with to the satisfaction of the court, how far removed from reality and propriety can a government be.

Fine Gael are to table a motion of no confidence in O'Dea next week http://www.rte.ie/news/2010/0216/odeaw.html it's unlikely to achieve anything but at least his actions are being highlighted. He should have been sacked the day he appeared on the front pages holding a gun but nobody in this Government, (Fianna Fail TD's) will ever be held accountable for their actions.

On the same day our esteemed tanaiste does her best to piss away another 300 jobs http://www.rte.ie/business/2010/0216/ryanair.html . It just gets better & better, it's very hard to like or even respect O'Leary sometimes, but what he does is for the benefit of Ryanair and it's shareholders & looking after their interests is his job & he is very fucking good at it. Whereas Coughlan & FF are not.